


Support

by DreamingOf4A



Category: Figure Skating RPF
Genre: Angst, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, F/M, Fluff and Angst, Grand Prix Series 2017, Hugs, Injury Recovery, M/M, More Fluff, More angst, Unrequited Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-11-28
Updated: 2018-02-04
Packaged: 2019-02-08 04:17:46
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 14
Words: 16,415
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12856584
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DreamingOf4A/pseuds/DreamingOf4A
Summary: Javi and Yuzu support each other in the disaster that was the 2017 Grand Prix Series. With extra angst sprinkled on the side.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Chapter 1 takes place after Javi gets home from Cup of China. When I first started writing it, I didn't know Javi had been sick. So there's some personal angst at first. I thought that still works, even with the sickness.
> 
> The coffee trick, I'm not sure I'd recommend, but my parents did use it and apparently it works... it's not yummy, though...

_Disclaimer: This story is fiction and does not in any way reflect on the real life people that share their names with these characters. It is also not intended to offend or disrespect and it exists simply because I find it really interesting to imagine how other people - potentially - live their lives._

Javi sighed deeply as he abandoned his luggage in the middle of the room and let himself fall on the couch, Effie immediately coming over to rub against him.

“I missed you, too, love!” he whispered as he scratched his cat behind the ears.

It had been an awful competition. He couldn’t remember the last time he’d messed up so much in a competition. He felt completely ashamed and dreaded having to go to the club the next day. There was his own failure, but there was also his failure to keep his promise to Brian that he would be fine. That he’d manage competing without him.

He hadn’t.

He’d crashed and burned even as Lee had relentlessly tried to help him.

Part of him wished he’d never have to face Brian again. He just couldn’t bear the thought he’d failed the man so badly.

And on top of it, his stomach still churned and twisted and felt like some sort of alien was desperately trying to crawl its way out of it.

He was startled from his depression by the doorbell.

He frowned. He’d told Gabby he was going straight home to sleep. So it couldn’t be her. He’d texted much the same to Javier and anyone else who might contemplate visiting.

He shrugged and ignored it. It was probably some sales man or so.

If it was, it was a very insistent one, though, who kept ringing and ringing and knocking and ringing until Javi jumped up from the couch ready to pour all of his frustration on the poor fool bothering him at a time like this. As he swung open the door, ready to curse, the words died in his mouth and his eyes widened.

“Yuzuru?!”

“Javi really slow to open door. Bother neighbors!”

“Uhm… you’re the one bothering them by insisting like this… wait… what are you doing here?”

Yuzu hesitated a moment.

“May I come in?”

“Uh… sure… I just got home, though, so it’s a mess…”

“It’s ok, won’t take long.”

“Ok. Come on in. Want something to drink?”

“No, is ok.”

“Ok…”

They both stood awkwardly next to Javi’s luggage, for a minute. Yuzu silently taking in the apartment. Javi confused but not sure what to ask.

Yuzu had never been to his place before. Contrary to popular belief. Javi hadn’t thought Yuzu even knew where he lived, but apparently he did. Javi didn’t know where Yuzu lived, actually. They could have been neighbors and not know it.

“So… uhm… why are you here?”

“Oh, yes. I want give Javi something.”

“Give me something?”

Yuzu nodded.

“Well, what is it?”

Yuzu blushed a bit, obviously embarrassed.

“Uhm… close eyes.”

“What?”

“Just do it!”

“You’re not going to kiss me or something are you?” Javi half joked, though now that he’d conjured it up, the idea of Yuzu kissing him didn’t seem all that bad…

Yuzu was silent for a breath. Then:

“No, of course not. Just do it!”

“Ok.” Javi said as he closed his eyes.

Next he felt a fresh, familiar perfume flood his senses, before he was engulfed in strong warmth.

Yuzuru’s arms wrapped tightly around his neck, his body flush against Javi’s, holding him tightly, like he had in Helsinki.

Javi’s arms instinctively rose and wrapped around Yuzuru’s waist and he rested his forehead against the other’s shoulder.

“Silly… you don’t have to make me close my eyes to hug me...” Javi whispered.

Yuzu just smiled, then sighed.

“We get better again. Together.”

“Yuzu...”

“Javi is still best rival for me. Always be best rival for me.”

“I’m not much of a rival these days...”

“You win in Montreal.”

“Well, yes...”

“And you win Japan Open.”

“Yes, but...”

“Javi, no buts. Javi win twice this season. I win nothing. So no complain.”

“You didn’t finish sixth. I’m not going to the Final, you know that.”

“There is competition more important than Final. You don’t go to Final before Sochi.”

“Yes, and that turned out great, didn’t it? And really, that coming from you, is precious. You’re telling me you wouldn’t care if you didn’t win your 5th consecutive Final?”

“... Of course I care. But still competition more important. And Javi get podium in Sochi if not for zayak. But learn from zayak, so won’t happen again.”

“Yuzu, I’m sorry, I know you’re trying to comfort me, but to be honest, this hug felt better before you started talking.”

Yuzuru shut up immediately, but his soft body, which had been molded to Javi’s in a liquid embrace, went rock hard with tension.

Javi cursed under his breath and wrapped his arms more tightly around Yuzu, as if trying to melt him again like that.

“I’m sorry, Yuzu, I didn’t mean it like that! It’s just I’m really grumpy and tired and… oh, shit! Don’t go, please! I’ll be right back!”

With that, Javi ran off to the bathroom, leaving a pouty and confused Yuzu behind. 

The sounds that started coming from the bathroom made Yuzu wince in sympathy, though.

Looking around a bit at a loss, he went to push Javi’s luggage closer to a wall. From there he caught a glimpse of Javi’s bedroom and with a muttered apology, he went inside and, not without another muttered apology, looking through the older man’s closet he pulled what looked like a comfortable pair of pajama pants and an old tshirt. On a second thought, and blushing a bit, he dug through a drawer and pulled out a pair of comfortable looking boxers.

After that, he readied the bed for sleep, pulling the duvet and fluffing up the pillows…

He did everything his mother usually did for him when he was tired and sick, that made him feel comfortable and cozy.

After setting the clothes on the bed, he went back to the living room, frowning a bit at the noises coming again from the bathroom.

With a sigh, he moved to the kitchen and after glancing through the various cupboards, he pursed his lips and brought out a bag of ground coffee.

Then he went back to the living room and sat on the couch, giving Effie wide berth. He’d been aware of the cat watching his every move and he was partly afraid she might conclude he was an intruder and punish him.

He stiffened as the cat got up and padded to him, sniffing him carefully, before settling down again, next to his thigh, purring.

Yuzuru couldn’t help but smile at that. 

He scratched the cat’s head and behind its ears. He’d never had pets as his parents had worried it would worsen his already bad asthma, so he didn’t get to interact with animals much.

“I see you’ve already met…”

Yuzuru’s head snapped up at Javi’s voice.

“Yeah, she introduce herself.” he smiled.

“She likes you. She’s not usually that friendly.”

Yuzuru’s smile widened. Then he looked up at his teammate again, taking in his pale skin and obvious weakness.

“You look awful.”

“Gee, thanks.”

“You have no rice.”

“What?”

“Rice. Is good for bad stomach.”

“Ah. Yeah. Ran out right before I left.”

“Have coffee then.”

“Coffee? I don’t feel like drinking coffee right now, Yuzu…”

“Not drink, eat.”

“What?!”

“Mom says a teaspoon of raw ground coffee also help with bad stomach. She try when no rice. Says it works.”

“...”

“Just try. Can’t do worse.”

“Ok…”

“Then shower and sleep.”

“Yes, mom!”

“Good boy.”

“Now you sound like Brian…”

“Mama Orser!” Yuzu grinned.

“Oh, I am so telling him you said that!” Javi threatened.

Yuzuru just laughed as Javi grimaced and took the spoonful of coffee, then obediently showered.

Yuzuru waited until he was in bed, tucked him in, then stood up to leave.

“Yuzu, wait…”

“What?”

“I’m sorry about earlier. I was just…”

“Is ok. Javi sick. Sick people grumpy. I understand.”

“Thank you…”

“Just sleep. So not so grumpy anymore tomorrow!” Yuzuru smiled, then left with a cute wave as Javi chuckled and called out his thanks again, before drifting off into cozy sleep before he even heard the door fall shut after Yuzu.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Javi finds out Yuzu withdrew from NHK

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry, this started angsty, then got fluffy, then got angsty again...

Javi groaned as he heard his phone start ringing. He was comfortable in bed, in the middle of a lovely dream, a warm body pressed against him and someone actually dared disturb that…

He fumbled for the phone - almost knocking over a lamp he hadn’t memorized the position of yet - and frowned when he saw his sister’s name and the hour.

His heart squeezed with worry but he hid it behind a layer of grumpiness.

“The house better be on fire for you to call at this hour…” he grumbled after accepting the call.

“What? No!”

“Then what’s so urgent it couldn’t wait until a more decent time. By Spanish standards please!”

“Yuzu withdrew!”

“What?”

“Yuzu withdrew out of NHK! He’s out of the Final!”

Javi blinked before sitting up in bed, eyes wide in shock.

“Wha… why??”

“You… you haven’t kept up with the news? He had a bad fall yesterday. They say he hurt his ankle. He tried to fix it with ice, but it wasn’t enough. So he withdrew. I’ve seen Ghislain quoted as having said Yuzu was crying when he made the decision…”

Javier’s heart clenched powerfully.

He and Yuzu weren’t friends in the true sense of the word, but he knew his younger teammate enough to realize what a hard and painful decision that must have been for him.

He remembered his own shot at Yuzu when he’d tried to comfort Javi about not making the Final and he cringed.

“Javi?”

“Yes, sorry. That really sucks… I hope it’s not bad enough to affect his season…” Javi said and his words sounded empty even to his own ears.

“They say it’s not… he’s aiming to come back for Nationals…”

“That’s good…”

“Are you going to call him?”

“Call him? Why?”

“He might appreciate a friendly voice now.”

“He’s in Japan. His family and friends are a train ride away.”

“Yes, but they don’t understand him like you do.”

The simple statement struck Javi because it was true, although he’d never actually articulated it in his head. That was the foundation of their bond as teammates. They weren’t friends, but they understood each other, when it came to skating, like nobody else.

“Maybe.” he conceded. “But even if I wanted to, I wouldn’t be able to call him. He doesn’t have a cell phone.”

“Oh, right… I forgot about that…”

“I’ll talk to him when he gets back. We should get some more sleep now.”

“... ok.” Laura gave up after a disapproving pause.

“See you later.” Javi said, then hung up. 

He glanced at his new girlfriend sleeping peacefully next to him and sneaked out of bed, stopping to pull on his jeans, cringing a bit at how they felt against his bare skin, then went to the bathroom, his phone still clutched in his hand.

In there, he brought up youtube and watched videos of Yuzu’s fall, wincing at each of them.

Then he took a deep breath.

He couldn’t call Yuzu, but he could call someone who was in Osaka.

He dialed the number and waited until the hesitant voice picked up.

“Javi?”

“Hey, Nam. Sorry to bother you… it must be getting close to competition time…”

“No, it’s ok. It’s still a few hours away.”

“Ah, ok…”

“Is this about Yuzu?”

“... Yeah… how bad is it?”

“The fall was nasty… For someone less flexible it probably would have been worse. Beyond that… you probably know more than me. All I know is he withdrew and damaged his ankle. They won’t talk to us about it and, since it’s Japan, it’s impossible to get close to him. I think of the Japanese boys, the one doing Yuzu’s debut program, said he spotted Yuzu at the hotel this morning, when he left for the hospital. Using Ghislain as a crutch.”

“Ouch… I’m sorry, this must really suck for you, too. This is the second time you’ve seen him having an accident first hand…”

“Well, I’m not a kid anymore, so it’s not like I’m traumatized or anything. But it really sucks for him…”

“Yeah, it does… Anyway, thank you Nam. You do your best, too! I’m sure Yuzu would love to see you do well on his behalf, too!”

“Eh, I’ll try. In the extremely unlikely case I do manage to talk to him, is there anything you want me to tell him?”

“I… uh… no, not really.” Javi said. Passing along a message like “you are not alone” was too cheesy.

“Ok. Take care!”

“Thanks, you, too!”

After hanging up, Javi sat on the toilet seat, biting his lip. 

He really, really wanted to talk to Yuzu…

He didn’t even know why, just…

Yuzu had been there for him after China. Had purposefully asked where he lived, gotten out of the house and navigated the Toronto public transportation system - that was his nemesis, alongside English language and ties - and come just to give Javi a hug. And then put him to bed and tuck him in. And feed him disgusting raw coffee, although it had worked.

He wanted to be there for Yuzu as well.

Somehow.

And without it taking another week.

He brought up his email app and sent a brief, message like email. He couldn’t remember if he had ever sent Yuzu an email before, but he did have his address.

“Hey. I heard the news. It really sucks… how are you holding up?”

He re-read his message, cringed a little, then shrugged and hit send.

Then waited, almost holding his breath.

He still startled when his phone pinged. And stared when he saw Yuzu had replied right away. He hadn’t really expected that, though he had hoped for it.

“I’m ok. No need for Javi worry.” it said.

Javi would have headdesked if he’d had a desk.

“Don’t lie to me, Yuzu. You don’t have to lie or hide how upset you are with me. You know how I upset I was when I got back from China.”

“... I know.”

“... I wish I could return that hug now…”

Javi could imagine Yuzu smiling a bit.

“Thank you ^_^”

“It must have been a really tough decision, but I think it was the right one. Brian will be very proud of you.”

“He is. He say so. And I know. But so many fans disappointed…”

“If they’re your fans they want what’s best for you. They would never want you forcing yourself and getting more injured for their sake. Especially not this season.”

“I know. But NHK sell out. Because of me. And now I don’t go…”

“They understand. It’s more important that you are healthy for the Olympics so you can make them truly happy then!”

“Yeah… yeah, I know. Still much frustration.”

“I know… *sends hugs*”

“www Javi in Toronto now?”

“No, I’m actually in Madrid. Enjoying a bit of time with family, and getting acclimatized before France.”

“Smart. So don’t get fever before competition.”

“Fever?”

“Yes. I have bad fever after get to Japan. Skip unofficial practice and first official practice.”

“... did you still have a fever when you jumped that quad lutz?”

“No.”

“Yuzu…”

“No… But wasn’t really good either. Feeling… weak.”

“... Why did you jump then?”

“I thought force body to wake up is good idea.”

Javi couldn’t even bring himself to write a reply to that, he was too busy mentally headdesking again.

Another mail from Yuzu came instead.

“Was very bad idea.”

“No shit. Yuzu, you really should know better than that!”

“I know… Very mad at myself now.”

Javi’s heart ached for his teammate again.

“I wish Osaka was a car ride away.”

“www Javi don’t drive though.”

“I’d take a taxi.”

“wwwwww”

Javi smiled. He’d been around Japanese enough to know that meant laughing. He hoped he did manage to make Yuzu smile a little at least.

“I’ll make it up to you in Toronto.”

“Yeah? How?”

“I’ll glue myself to you for a week! Hug you and not let you go!”

“Hahaha Maybe I don’t mind.”

“I hope you don’t because I’m gonna do it!”

“What about home?”

“I think your mother likes me, I don’t think she’d mind me too much.”

“XD What about bathroom?”

“We’re both guys, no big problem there.”

“Silly Javi!”

“I just hope you have a big bed, or we’re going to sleep embarrassingly close”

“Nope. Small bed.”

“Oh well. You’re a twig anyway. We’ll manage.”

“Am not twig! And Javi smaller this season!”

Javi’s eyebrows shot up. How did Yuzu even know that? He had lots some weight, but…

“All the better. We should fit in your bed just fine.”

“Mmm… haven’t shared bed in very long time…”

Javi wanted to ask with whom had Yuzu shared his bed, but felt it wasn’t any of his business.

“How long?” he asked instead.

“Mmm… since was kid, I think.”

Javi wanted to reply he still was a kid, but was too surprised by the answer to move quickly enough.

“No girlfriends since then?”

“No.”

Javi admitted he was a little surprised by that. Not a lot. Yuzu had obviously dedicated his entire life to skating thus far. But he’d also thought maybe Yuzu was still living a normal 22 year old male’s life somehow, unbeknownst to Javi.

“What about Javi? When last time share bed?”

Javi blushed hard as he read the question. As if he was the weird one for actually sleeping with his girlfriend.

“Uhm… tonight? ^_^;”

“Eh? Javi sleep with Laura at this age?!”

“No! I’m in Madrid, but not at my parents’. I’m at my girlfriend’s place.”

“Oh”

Javi waited for something else to follow that oh, but nothing did.

He frowned. He didn’t know what to say. He realized that although Yuzu must have met her when she visited him in Toronto, he hadn’t actually introduced her to him as his girlfriend, like he had to everyone else, in Muskoka.

He started typing up a long mail telling Yuzu about her, when he got a reply. He stopped and read the mail.

“I just check time in Madrid. Very late! Javi should go back sleep so girlfriend don’t get mad! Thank you for mail. Good night. See you in Toronto.”

Javier frowned again. 

He felt dismissed.

He sighed, then deleted what he’d written.

“She won’t get mad. And I don’t have to be up early tomorrow. But if you’re sick of chatting, fine. You’re welcome. See you in Toronto.”

He hesitated before sending, knowing his tone was petty, but he just didn’t understand Yuzu’s sudden change of attitude.

He hit send. And waited.

“Sorry. Not sick.” Yuzu sent back.

And Javi felt bad for making his already hurt and depressed teammate apologize. But then got another mail.

“But have video chat meeting with Brian in few minutes. Need get ready. So, talk later?”

Javi rolled his eyes.

As if Brian actually required Yuzu to do any preparing to chat with him.

“Sure. Later.” he replied and decided that going back to his girlfriend’s warm, naked embrace was a much more appealing idea than trying to decypher his teammate’s moods. Yuzuru seemed fine, anyway.

There was still a pang of something as he apologized to his girlfriend’s mumbled complained as she sleepily snuggled up to him again, and he closed his eyes.

Of what, though, he had no idea.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just for the record, for Japanese online speak, www is the equivalent of lol I have no idea what emoji Yuzu would use, so I combined both more Japanese ones and more western ones.
> 
> The news about Yuzu withdrawing came around 1pm Japan time, I think. That would make it around 5am Spain time, which, considering people in Spain don't seem to like getting up early, is virtually still the middle of the night :P


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> On the way back from his last Grand Prix assignment, Javi stresses about the promise he made...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Finally managed to continue this story in a way I like... Hopefully it'll continue like this!

Javi spent most of the flight back to Toronto thinking about Yuzuru.

When he’d woken up at a more decent time and reviewed his conversation with Yuzu, he’d felt a little embarrassed.

Glue himself to Yuzu for a week…

He felt like blushing and whining and hiding under a blanket again.

He did let out a little noise, which resulted in Brian removing his eye mask and giving him a weird look.

Javi just smiled sheepishly and went back to looking out the window as if the most amazing thing ever lay out there. Instead of just an endless expanse of fluffy white clouds.

He felt the coach shake his head and go back to sleep.

If Brian knew about Javi’s conversation with Yuzu, he’d probably be happy about it. But Javi hadn’t told him. And he knew Yuzu had only talked to Brian very briefly since his injury. And about more important things than childish promises.

And that was Javi’s big issue. He didn’t know if Yuzu would expect him to keep that childish promise or not.

Hell, Javi had indicated he’d even go to the bathroom with Yuzu and that was just… there was no way Yuzu took that seriously! Yuzu had to know Javi hadn’t meant it seriously! 

Only Javi himself wasn’t sure whether he’d meant it seriously or not…

It was all Laura’s fault anyway. She should know better than to wake him up in the middle of the night!

And yet, Javi cringed as he remembered, three years earlier. Waking up from a good night’s sleep only to hear about Yuzu’s crash with Han Yan. Or waking up to hear Yuzu was in the hospital about to undergo surgery because he had a freaking hole in his navel.

He wasn’t sure being woken and hearing about this injury right away was better.

In a way, it was. Because he’d been able to reach out to Yuzu and give some comfort. Return the favor.

And make that stupid promise.

Javi bit back a groan.

The truth was he didn’t know where he stood with Yuzu.

If this had happened three years earlier, Javi wouldn’t have hesitated and he’d have tried to keep his promise to the best of his abilities.

But now…

Things had changed between them.

Three years earlier, Yuzu had still been an awkward kid. The little brother he’d never had. Or so Javi told himself when he looked back on those days.

Now, he was a young man. Confident. Strong. On top of the world. Surely he didn’t need Javi treating him like a kid and making silly, childish promises.

Then again, Yuzu still acted very much like a child at times…

“Javi, I can hear you thinking from here!” Brian groaned.

“Eh? Ah… sorry…”

The coach sighed and removed his eye mask again.

“What is it?”

“Eh? No, it’s nothing…”

“Javi… it’s not like you to stress yourself like this. Especially over nothing.”

Javi cringed a bit, but could hardly deny it. He left over thinking to others. Usually.

“It’s… really nothing… I just… made a silly promise and... I have no idea if the one I made it to expects me to follow through or not...”

Brian frowned and turned to look at Javi seriously.

“What kind of promise?”

Javi was startled by the sudden focus. He blushed.

“It’s just really silly...”

“Who did you make it to?”

“Eh?”

“You should be careful with promises… even if they seem silly to you...”

“Brain, you’re taking this too seriously...”

“Am I?”

“Yes, definitely...”

“Was it something you promised your girlfriend?”

“Wh… what??”

Brian sighed. “Javi, you really need to be careful with words...”

“This has nothing to do with her!” Javi snapped. First, Yuzu had reacted weirdly to his girlfriend, now Brian. He didn’t understand it and it was getting annoying.

Brian paused. “Oh… sorry.” Pause. “Who, then?”

Javi sighed and decided a little embarrassment was better than misunderstandings and beating around bushes he couldn’t understand.

“Yuzuru.”

“Eh? Yuzuru?”

Javi nodded.

Brian frowned again.

“What did you promise him?”

Javi sighed again.

“When Laura called me and told me he withdrew from NHK, I sent him an email. He supported me and helped me when I got back from China, so I wanted to give something back…”

“Right…”

“Anyway, we exchanged a few mails back and forth… and he was obviously depressed, so… I sort of sent him virtual hugs…” Javi confessed and sneaked a peek at Brian. The coach had a raised eyebrow and looked fairly amused.

“Hugging is… normal for the two of you…” Brian said.

“Yeah… anyway, I said I was sorry I couldn’t go there and really give him a hug.”

Brian’s lips twitched and Javi felt like the man just wanted to go “awwwww” on him.

“So then I promised I’d glue myself to him for a week when we meet again in Toronto...”

Brian blinked. Once. Twice. Thrice.

Then burst out laughing, much to Javi’s extreme embarrassment.

“Brian!”

“I’m sorry, I just had this funny image of you all wrapped around and clinging on to skinny Yuzu as he tried to go about his usual activities. It’s an extremely funny image!”

“Brian!”

“Ok, ok… so that’s what you’ve been stressing about?”

“Err... yeah…”

“Why?”

“... I don’t know if he’ll expect me to do it… I mean… obviously, really glueing myself to him is impossible. But would he expect me to… like… be more… touchy-feely?”

Brian raised an eyebrow.

“If you two were any more touchy-feely than you normally are we might have to make the rink NC-17 when you two are there…”

“Eh??”

Brian shook his head and sighed.

“Look, Javi… I think the only option is to try to read Yuzu’s mood when he gets back. He’s not that hard to read. If he looks like he could use some physical comfort, go for it. If not, not.”

“I guess…” Javi sighed. “I just don’t want to disappoint him. He’s got enough of that as it is. Plus our friendship has been a little…” He shrugged, not knowing what word to use.

Brian pursed his lips and patted his student’s knee.

“Just be yourself, Javi and do what feels right at the time, without thinking too much. Acting according to what your heart tells you has always been your greatest asset. And Yuzu likes you, no matter how your friendship might bend at times.”

Javi nodded and leaned back in his chair, trying to let go of the anxiety, as Brian patted his knee again and encouraged him to get some sleep.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Two weeks later, Javi felt torn between worry and feeling like an idiot.

Two weeks later, Javi felt torn between worry and feeling like an idiot.

Both he and Yuzu had been in Toronto for two weeks. 

They had yet to meet.

Javi didn’t know the details, but apparently Yuzu’s injury was worse than it had seemed at first. It would be some time still before he got back on the ice.

And all of it meant Javi had worried about the stupid promise for nothing.

He and Yuzu had exchanged a handful of messages in these two weeks, but the younger man’s answers were mostly monosyllabic. Not very encouraging.

As he took a break from his runthrough practice for Nationals in another 10 or so days, Javi picked up his phone again.

He’d spotted the note on the billboard announcing upcoming club members’ birthdays. He’d seen Yuzu’s name and remembered his teammate always celebrated his birthday at the Grand Prix Final.

Not this year, though.

He knew the club members would prepare something nice and sweet for him. They did for everyone’s birthdays.

But that would be just an hour or so. Javi hated the thought that Yuzu might spend the rest of his birthday depressed in his room. So he was determined that he going to take Yuzu out. 

Somehow.

He typed up quickly: “Hey! Are you at home?”

The reply came almost instantly.

“No.”

“Oh… are you at the doctor’s?” Javi asked, worried he might have caught Yuzu at a bad time.

“No.”

The Spaniard frowned.

“Where are you then? I wanted to talk to you…” He didn’t add in person and hoped Yuzu wouldn’t reply something like “but we are talking.”

This time the reply took a few minutes and Javi started getting anxious again. Maybe he’d been too pushy…

His phone pinged and he quickly opened the message. Then stared at it.

“I’m behind you.”

A familiar chuckle broke Javi out of his confusion and he turned to see Yuzu indeed standing behind him. One hand holding his phone. The other holding a pair of crutches.

“Hi, Javi.” Yuzu smiled and Javi jumped up and hugged him before his brain even managed to fully process Yuzu standing there.

Javi’s chest tightened at the sight of the crutches, as his arms wrapped around Yuzu. With his skates on he was quite a bit taller and he got an extra protective kick out of it, even though without skates, Yuzu was as tall, if not a bit taller.

“Yuzu!” he breathed.

Yuzu chuckled softly as he returned the hug as much as he could.

Javi only squeezed him tighter and Yuzu let out a long breath, before letting the crutches clatter to the floor and wrapped his arms tightly around Javi, leaning his weight on him.

Yuzu leaning on him, in more ways than one.

Suddenly, Javi wanted nothing more than to keep his promise and not let Yuzu go for a week. Maybe not ever…

The mood was broken by a snicker nearby. The one making the noise was obviously trying to hold it back, but failing spectacularly.

Reluctantly, he and Yuzu let go of each other and Javi bent over to pick up the crutches, giving them back to Yuzu, who nodded and smiled his thanks. Then Javi turned to glare at his choreographer, who was still snickering behind his hand.

“Sorry, sorry, it was just such a… romantic film moment, I couldn’t help it…” David apologized, though his huge grin wouldn’t leave his face.

Yuzuru blushed and Javi frowned.

“Ro… what?”

“So, have you two, finally c…” David spluttered as a hand clamped over his mouth cutting him off.

“Don’t mind him. Welcome back, Yuzu. They’re waiting for you in the dance room, when you’re ready.” Brian said with a smile, acting like him holding back a flailing David, hand over his mouth was the most normal thing in the world.

The two skaters stared at them, Yuzu biting his lip and still blushing, though Javi didn’t really notice.

Then the Japanese nodded.

“Thank you. I go now. Javi, talk later?”

Javi turned to his teammate, unable to hide his disappointment. Of course, distantly he’d known Yuzu hadn’t come to skate as soon as he’d seen the crutches. But he was still sad to see him go so soon.

Still, he nodded and tried a smile.

“Sure. Good luck!”

“Thanks.”

They watched Yuzu turn around and move way much faster than anyone should ever be on crutches.

“Yuzu, more slowly please!” Brian called out after him, though Yuzu either didn’t hear him, either ignored him as he continued at the same pace. “This kid will be the death of me…” the coach sighed making David chuckle again.


	5. Chapter 5

They hadn’t talked later.

When Javi had finished his practice, he’d found a mail from Yuzu, apologizing and saying he had to go see his doctor and couldn’t wait for him.

The next time they met was at Yuzu’s impromptu birthday party in the club lobby. Javi was pouty about not having had a chance to suggest going out to Yuzu and not even managing to get him a present as Brian had worked him like a slave for the Spanish nationals. Of course, that was because Javi had told him he wanted to put on a great performance, but still. It had left him so tired he’d only managed to drag himself home and sleep over the past couple of days.

However, as he saw Yuzu smiling and teary eyed and obviously so moved as his teammates sang Happy Birthday, after planting a big, delicious looking cake in his arms, he had to smile.

Yuzu often isolated himself from the world as he focused 300% of his energy on skating. But every now and then he had to come face to face with the immense outpouring of love for him. From his teammates supporting him and encouraging him and celebrating his successes with him, both the big ones, like gold medals, and the smaller ones, like landing his quad lutzes and loops, to his fans all around the world who even went as far as renting advertising space outside of his training ground, to wish him a happy birthday. And it was clear how touched he was by it.

Javi didn’t hesitate when it was his turn to hug his teammate.

“Happy Birthday, Yuzu! たんじょうびおめでとう！”

“Thank you, Javi!” Yuzu beamed at him, resting his weight on Javi again while they hugged. That little show of trust made Javi all fuzzy inside.

“What are you doing after this?” Javi heard himself ask.

“Eh?”

“I thought you might want to… I don’t know… do something fun… studying or worrying about skating can wait until your birthday is over…”

“Javi…” Yuzu said and he looked at the older man with such an expression it made Javi short of breath.

“Thank you… it’ just…” Yuzu continued, then paused.

“Just?”

“Uhm… mom talk to dad and Saya and friends at home and arrange I, we, do skype chats with them… they take day off for this, so… can’t change…”

“Oh… oh, don’t worry! Of course, have fun!” Javi said and smiled as brightly as he could, hiding his disappointment.

“Maybe we can do fun stuff later? After Nationals?”

After Nationals meant after New Year’s. Neither he, nor Yuzu tended to go back to Toronto before that. Even though Javi’s Nationals ended earlier.

Still, Javi smiled and nodded.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Translation:  
> たんじょうびおめでとう！ = Happy birthday! (politely, usually, it'd be おたんじょうびおめでとう but Javi's Japanese isn't perfect ;) )


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I almost uploaded chapter 5 again ^_^;  
> Just for the record, I have one more chapter typed up, which is quite long, but not really Yuzu/Javi, and the next one in progress.  
> The story is moving somewhat slowly because of my desire to stay close to actual facts and timelines, but it's definitely getting more AU in the next chapter lol

Javi experienced a feeling of deja vu.

He groaned as he groped around the bedside table for his phone, refusing to open his eyes or turn on the light.

It was the middle of the night. He could feel it in his bones. His body extremely tired after the competition and the subsequent celebration.

Just like a month earlier, on the other side of the bed slept his girlfriend. This time they were in a hotel, but that was pretty much the only difference.

He finally found his phone and answered the call without checking the caller ID. He already knew who it was. And had a pretty good idea why she was calling, too.

He mumbled something that may or may not have been "Yes."

“Yuzu withdrew!” his sister said, sounding more worried than she had a month earlier.

Javi sighed. 

Just as he'd suspected.

“I know.” he said, because that required fewer words.

“You knew?! Why didn’t you tell me?”

Javi rolled his eyes.

“I didn’t know for sure, but he hadn’t set foot on the ice yet when I left - I think there are plans to get him back this week - and there was no way he could compete like that. Plus, there’s no point in risking.”

“They’ll really give him the spot, even without doing Nationals?”

“I don’t think any federation would be stupid enough to prevent the reigning Olympic and World Champion, the guy who is leader in the World Standings, from going to the Olympics. He’ll get the spot. If Japan only had one spot, they might have thought harder, but with three spots, it’s simple.”

“I guess you’re right…”

“I am right. Anyway, Yuzu will be fine. He’s injured, yes, but it’s the kind of injury he’d normally be winning gold medals with. The only reason he’s not doing it now is because it’s the Olympic Season. He’s being cautious. So stop worrying and go to sleep!”

Laura laughed, as if she knew Javi knew this speech by heart because he’d told it to himself with every postponement of Yuzu’s return on ice.

After managing to fall asleep again, Javi dreamed of Seimei, Don Quixote and sharing the brightest podium with Yuzu, his teammate’s smile blinding and his body warm and strong in Javi’s arms as they hugged.

He woke up to warm sunlight streaming through the open curtains. He stretched and smiled, remembering the fuzzy dream.

He could hear the shower running as he reached for his phone.

He was surprised to see a mail from Yuzu.

The text was in Japanese, simple hiragana he could read and understand. 

It made his heart pound as he opened the picture attached and he couldn’t prevent the huge smile that appeared on his face.

“ただいま” and a picture of Yuzu on the ice, standing underneath the Olympic Medalists panel.

Still grinning, Javi typed up a quick reply.

“おかえり!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Translation:  
> ただいま = I'm home  
> おかえり! = Welcome home!


	7. Chapter 7

Brian sighed as he pulled into the Cricket Club parking lot.

He’d arrived the previous day, after a long flight from Spain. As he’d spent a quality evening lazing around and getting spoiled by his partner while trying to shake off jetlag, he’d allowed himself a few moments of relief that he hadn’t had to fly to Japan instead.

He’d been surprised when Yuzuru had sent him the message that he had decided to formally withdraw, way earlier than anyone had expected, without anyone having to say anything.

He felt proud, even as his heart ached for the kid.

And then there was the other thing…

Raj had suggested it the previous night and Brian had agreed to talk to Yuzuru about it, though he didn’t expect to get a positive answer.

But Yuzuru and his mother were stuck in Toronto for the holidays and Brian did want to help them enjoy them a bit.

He was pretty nervous about asking, though, which was probably a first for him.

He couldn’t remember ever feeling nervous about talking to one of his skaters.

Taking a deep breath, he grabbed his bag and went inside.

Practice came first.

After practice, Brian told Yuzuru to please see him in his office before going home.

Fifteen minutes later, Yuzuru knocked on the door and came in, sitting across the desk from Brian, his expression curious.

“How are you feeling?” Brian asked.

Yuzuru nodded. “I feel ok. Not perfect, but better. Slowly.”

“Slowly is good. Slow but safe and sure.”

“I know.”

“Yuzu, I’m very proud of you. I know this season has been very hard and I know it was very hard for you to make some of the choices you’ve had to make. But you’ve shown great maturity and that you’ve learned your lessons. So I’m very proud of you.”

Yuzuru blushed a bit at that. “I still get injury…”

“Well, you’re you, I think something was bound to happen… But the timing was not very bad, all things considered. And it’ll be a big lesson.”

“Yes.”

“Good. Now… one of the downsides is that you and your mother are stuck here for the holidays.”

“Ah… yeah… Christmas not so big in Japan, but…”

“But New Year’s is and either way, it was a holiday you usually could spend with your family.”

“Yeah… well, actually…”

“Yes?”

“Father and Saya are flying to Toronto for New Year… just a few days and will be hard, with jetlag, but… still.”

“Oh, that is awesome! I had no idea… I’m really happy for you!”

Yuzuru smiled a little sheepishly, but Brian could see how touched he was by his family’s sacrifice.

Brian himself tried to stomp on the small feeling of disappointment he was feeling.

But when he couldn’t, he took a deep breath.

“What about Christmas?”

“Christmas?”

“Yes. I know it’s not an actual holiday for you, but everything’s closed and there’s not really anything you can do on Christmas aside from celebrating it.”

“Uhm… I didn’t think…”

“I… don’t know if you’re interested, but… if you like… you and your mother could spend Christmas with me and Raj. See how we celebrate it…”

When Brian looked up from his desk where his eyes had fallen while making his invitation, Yuzuru was staring at him, wide-eyed.

“What?” he couldn’t help asking.

“I… don’t understand…”

“I am inviting you and your mother to have lunch with us on Christmas. At our house.” Brian explained, his nervousness replaced by the general irritation that occured when he and Yuzu ran into a language block.

“Oh… I… uh… need to ask mother…”

“Of course. Oh, wait… your mother… is ok… you know… with me being gay and having a male partner? I mean, it’s one thing when I’m your coach and that plays no part, and it’s another when coming to the house we share and it’s… there…”

“Oh… oh, no! No! Mother is totally ok!” Yuzu flailed a bit.

It made Brian chuckle a bit.

“So she’d be ok if I gave Raj a little kiss as thanks for his help in the kitchen?” Brian teased. He and Raj weren’t given to PDA’s, but Yuzu’s reaction hinted at some discomfort, even if unintentional and minimal.

Yuzuru flushed bright red and Brian had to work really hard not to laugh.

“Maybe… better not kiss…” Yuzu forced out.

“Don’t worry, we don’t do that.” Brian reassured with a smile.

“Is just… gay couple is very private at home. Don’t see men kiss unless in BL movies or manga. Or fanservice.”

“That’s a lot of ors. But really, no worries, i’m just teasing. And well, making sure. I’d hate to make your mother uncomfortable in any way.”

Yuzuru nodded. “Thank you. But really, she ok with that. I think she like Raj.”

“Oh, yeah?”

“They talk a bit in France last year.”

“They did?”

“Mmhm. In Korean…”

“Korean?! Your mother speaks Korean?!”

Yuzuru chuckled.

“I ask same thing. She say she learn from Korean drama. She watches a lot of Korean drama!”

Brian chuckled. “Raj lived in Korea for years. He never mentioned talking to your mother, though…”

“I think they don’t talk big things.”

“Yeah. Anyway, that should mean she’s even more likely to say yes.”

“Yes… I think she probably say yes…”

“... you seem more reluctant, though…”

“Mother is more open to learn about different culture. And try different food…”

“Ah, so it’s the food you’re worried about?”

“Well… yes… you know, I don’t like many food and… usually don’t try food I don’t know…”

“I understand. But I promise, both Raj and myself are very good cooks and we generally make light stuff. Even your more sensitive stomach should be ok, with it, I think. But if there’s anything you absolutely don’t eat, or anything you’d rather eat, just say it and…”

“No, no, no! Please don’t work hard for me!”

“Working hard for you is my job, Yuzu.” Brian teased.

“No, I mean, for lunch. If mother say ok, then is good. One day experiment is fine, I think.”

“I’m sure it is.”

“Ok. Then I ask and I tell you answer tomorrow?”

“That sounds great. Thank you.”

“No, thank you. For invite.”

“It’s our pleasure. I didn’t have a chance to spend much time with you away from the rink. It sometimes makes me feel bad when I do that with other skaters. Like I’m giving them preferential treatment over you.”

“No, that’s not Brian fault. I’m one who doesn’t spend time when not practice and not compete.”

“I know, but I never made the effort to convince you otherwise either. I guess I just thought if it works like this, it’s good enough.”

“Maybe it is.”

“Maybe. But maybe it would be better if we were closer. Of course, only if you want that. I am thinking you probably don’t, but I am curious why.”

“I… it’s not I don’t want…”

“Then?”

Yuzuru shrugged.

“Was always like this. Teacher is teacher. Coach is coach. Family is family. Friend is friend. I know Javi say Brian like father to him. Somehow, I understand. But for me Brian is coach. Before, Nanami-sensei was coach. She never mother or sister, she was coach. Coach is also very important and has special relationship. But is different from family. Maybe if like Javi I don’t have family around, maybe I feel same.”

“I think that could be, yes.” Brian agreed, hiding the fact that Yuzuru’s words hurt a bit, even while he sort of understood.

“But… I don’t not want… I mean… I never need to hang out. But I don’t think I mind if we do. I don’t think hang out is part of Brian’s job, but if you want to hang out, I don’t mind. I like Brian, so…” Yuzuru shrugged. He obviously didn’t really know how to make himself clear, but he was trying really hard and Brian had to smile.

“You know, hanging out is about more than just wanting. Let’s just try a Christmas lunch and see how it goes and if we both feel like it again, in the future, then we’ll hang out. Spend time away from skating. How’s that?”

Yuzuru nodded and smiled. “Sound good!”

“Great. Now go, don’t keep your mother waiting!”

“Yes. See you tomorrow! Bye bye!”

“Bye!”

As Yuzuru left the office, Brian sighed and leaned back in his seat.

“That went pretty well…”

“What did?” Tracy asked as she walked in to drop some papers.

“I just invited Yuzu and his mother to have lunch on Christmas with me and Raj.”

Tracy blinked.

“Wow… and?”

“He’ll ask her and tell me tomorrow. But I think they’ll come…”

Tracy smiled warmly.

“Congratulations! You’ve finally lured Yuzu out if his shell!”

Brian couldn’t help laughing as Tracy waved at him and left again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Writing Yuzu speaking English is so hard, because we don't know how fluent - or not - he actually is. In interviews, he's nervous, so it comes across as not fluent at all, but Brian always says he's improved a lot and they talk now, so it must be better than it seems, behind closed doors. So I write Yuzu speaking English with mistakes and trouble pronouncing some stuff, but overall intelligible.
> 
> I also completely made up Yuzu's mother watching Korean dramas and learning Korean. Just the idea of her chatting with Raj sounded fun, so I went for it. (However, according to his Linkedin profile, Raj did live in Korea and actually did his University studies there.)
> 
> Yuzu's attitude towards hanging out is also made up, though I think it fits with everything else.
> 
> And lastly, sorry for the lack of Javi in this ^_^;


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Brian knows... And a bit of Javi again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning: Mentions of Boston and Boston related angst.

“Merry Christmas, Yuzu! I know you don’t celebrate, but still!”

Yuzu chuckled as he read the email he’d received from Javi.

“What are you laughing about?” Yumi asked as she waited for the traffic light to turn green.

“Javi write to wish Merry Christmas. Even though we don’t celebrate.” Yuzu told her, while his fingers flew over the keys on his screen.

“We do today.”

“Yes, I just wrote him that.” Yuzu grinned.

His mother shook her head as she continued navigating her way to Brian’s house.

They made it there uneventfully and the door opened just as they pulled up. Brian directed Yumi to park in the driveway, noticing her hesitation, then came over smiling, shaking Yuzu’s hand as he quickly got out, then going around to open the door for Yumi as she was a bit slower.

“Welcome! Thank you for coming!”

Not accustomed to such gentlemanly behavior, Yumi blushed a bit as she accepted Brian’s hand to help her get out. A few steps away, Yuzu was chuckling.

“Now what are you laughing at?” Yumi asked in Japanese, with a bit of a glare and Yuzuru immediately put on his most angelic face.

“Nothing.”

Yumi rolled her eyes and turned back to Brian, who was watching them amused.

“Thank you for invitation, Orser-san!”

“Please, call me Brian. I think it’s easier to pronounce, too.” Brian winked as he gestured towards the door.

Yumi smiled and nodded, still blushing a bit and Yuzuru raised an eyebrow as he followed them inside. He’d never really seen Brian put on the charm like that, but it made sense he could. It promised to be a fun day and he made mental notes to share with Saya later. It wasn’t often they got to see their mother like that.

After they got inside and greeted Raj as well, Yumi insisted on helping with the last of the lunch preparations, arguing it would help her further understand North American customs. Somewhat amused - as he wasn’t North American either - Raj relented.

Meanwhile, Brian started picking up plates to set the table and Yuzuru tried to help, before his coach slapped his hands away.

“I don’t trust you with our fine china!” Brian said, though Yuzu could tell he was joking. Still, it was no secret he had a talent for stumbling over his own feet off the ice so he nodded sheepishly.

Instead, Yuzu started looking around the living room and dining room, which were separated by a screen with Korean motifs. It was his usual curiosity getting the best of him and he could feel Brian’s amused eyes on him, so he knew the man didn’t mind. That, plus Brian knew him pretty well by then and knew his curious nature.

There were many pictures of Raj and Brian with various friends and family. Yuzu had heard Brian came from a big family, but he was still a bit taken aback by a family picture. He could tell they were family, though.

He sometimes wondered if people thought that about his family, too. He’d been told he looked like his mother and some fans had easily recognized Saya in the Pandalion video, but he himself didn’t really see those similarities.

He walked along the decorated mantelpiece, looking at a series of pictures, and then he stopped. Before he was even aware of it, he reached out and picked up one of the frames.

Brian was standing next to Javi, wearing his World Championship Gold, both of them beaming at the camera. 

It was from Boston. 

Yuzuru recognized Javi’s white jacket.

He felt like he’d just been punched in the stomach.

Memories of that cursed competition came flooding back. 

He remembered how scared and helpless and hopeless he’d felt. Before, during and after. Funnily enough, especially after.

And while he’d been crying in the shower in his room, from disappointment and pain and a heart wrenching fear that he might have damaged his foot beyond repair, Brian and Javi had taken that picture.

Brian looked like a proud father.

Javi looked so happy. 

Even happier than the first time.

Yuzuru knew Javi had had his own problems and had virtually given up on gold. He imagined getting gold despite it all had felt a bit like Yuzu had felt when he’d gotten second place in China despite the accident. Or when he'd gotten gold at Grand Prix Final a few weeks after the accident, despite the setbacks and the aches.

After the initial feelings of betrayal and envy, what Yuzuru felt the most, looking at that picture, was regret. The regret that he had not been able to share that happy moment with his teammate and their coach.

They had both celebrated Yuzuru’s record breaking score in Barcelona. Even though it must have been painful for Javi. He’d skated so well and normally, he would have won. But Yuzu had gone and done what he’d done and Javi hadn’t won. But he’d still been happy for Yuzu and celebrated with him.

Instead, in Boston, he’d been so caught up in his breakdown, he hadn’t been able to even think about his teammate. He hadn’t been able to properly face Javi for months. In fact, he wasn’t sure he’d faced Javi properly until he’d gotten his title back, in Helsinki. He wasn’t sure what that said about him. He wasn’t sure he wanted to know either.

He did, however, know that his breakdown - even if they hadn’t known (and if Yuzu had his way, they never would know) the full extent of it - had but a damper on their happiness. 

“Yuzu?”

The young man startled as Brian walked up to him, frowning slightly.

“Is something wrong?” the coach asked, then saw the picture Yuzu was holding. “Ah…”

Yuzu couldn’t tell what Brian was feeling, but he felt distinctly like he’d stumbled upon something Brian hadn’t wanted him to see.

He stomped down on the negative feelings that had surfaced and convinced himself Brian was just worried Yuzu would feel left out. Letting that thought fill him with warmth, Yuzu smiled.

“You look so happy. Javi, too.”

“Yuzu…”

Yuzu sighed and ignored his coach.

“I wish I was happy with you, then.”

Brian blinked. Then smiled as well, a bit sadly.

“We wished you could have been with us, too.”

Yuzu looked up and gave Brian one of his blinding smiles. The older man could probably see beyond it, to the negative stuff he was fighting off, but the smile was honest, and Yuzu hoped he could see that, too.

Brian smiled back as Yuzu put the picture back in its place.

“I see no Brian skating picture or trophy…”

“Oh, I keep those in my office.”

“Ah…”

“Do you want to see them?”

“May I?”

Brian chuckled at Yuzu’s puppy dog look.

“Sure. Come along!”

Several moments later, Yuzuru was admiring Brian’s collection of medals and trophies.

Brian looked on, partly amused and partly flattered.

Yuzuru paused to look at the two Olympic silver medals.

Brian cringed a bit.

“You shouldn’t dwell on those too much!” Brian advised.

Yuzu turned to him with a cheeky grin, then turned to look at the medals again.

“Silver medal… have much meaning. Much frustration.”

“That’s true. I guess your two silver world medals are kind of like this, too.”

Yuzuru hummed.

“Brian once say that after loss to Brian Boitano, have hard time face him…” Yuzu asked hesitantly.

Brian turned to look at him.

“That’s true. To me, he was the embodiment of my failure.”

Yuzuru nodded, but kept quiet.

“Is… was that how you felt about Javi?” Brian asked.

“No. No, not really. But it was hard. And it hurt friendship.”

Brian nodded. “Javi knows, though. That it’s not personal. Of course, he wasn’t happy about it, but he still thinks of you as a friend.”

Yuzu couldn’t hide his little cringe at that quickly enough. Brian smiled a bit.

“Of course, that kind of sucks in its own way...” the coach said and then chuckled when Yuzuru turned to stare at him, eyes wide. “Oh, come on, Yuzu. I know you better than you think.”

“Know… me…?”

“Know you and know about your… crush… though I guess that’s not really the best term for it, is it?”

Yuzuru flushed and looked away. Brian put a hand on his shoulder.

“Don’t worry about it. I won’t tell anyone. Especially not Javi. That one is for you to do, when and if you feel ready.”

Yuzuru relaxed a bit, but he looked dejected.

“What point in tell Javi? He has girlfriend. And even when he don’t have girlfriend, he search for girlfriend.” Yuzuru said unable to hide the bitterness.

“Javi is… oblivious in many ways. That means he doesn’t notice things that should really be obvious.”

“I am obvious?!” Yuzu asked, startled.

“Well, no, not really, but...” Brian sighed. “You know… fans ship the two of you together. They call you Yuzuvier and write stories about the two of you being a couple. They sometimes even comment on Javi’s SNS with Yuzuvier things…”

Yuzuru groaned, much to Brian’s surprise.

“You knew?”

“Yeah… Alex make comment once, after Final last year. About ‘Yuzuvier’ moments. Misha and Evgenia explain.”

“Ah, yes… those two would know. Anyway, Javi’s taking it in his stride, trying to be nice with such things, but what he doesn’t realize is why this phenomenon started.”

“... because I’m sort of obvious?”

Brian chuckled. “No. Because you both are. You have great chemistry and you touch each other a lot and have this way of looking at each other… yeah, sometimes you’re kind of obvious, but Javi is just the same.”

“So… what does that mean?”

Brian sighed. “I don’t know. I admit, my personal hope is that he feels the same but is too stupid to realize it. Of course, if you two were actually together as a couple, that’d bring a whole new set of complications, but I do want you to be happy. Both of you.”

Yuzuru was quiet for a while.

“And you think we be happy together?”

Brian hummed. 

“I think the chances of that are great. You are great together, even as friends. He makes you happy even when you’re hurting from not having him love you back, right?” Yuzuru blushed again, which made Brian smile. “I know the logistics of it are complicated. You both want to return to your home countries when you retire. Javi will probably retire before you do, since he’s older. And I’m not awfully naive, but… I don’t know, maybe because my own personal life is so great, I do tend to think love would be enough for you two to make it work.”

Yuzuru hummed as he analyzed Brian’s words. The more the young champion stayed quiet, the more Brian worried he hadn’t really understood what he’d told him.

“And Brian really think Javi might… feel the same?”

Brian frowned.

“Yuzu… I don’t want to give you too much hope, because I honestly have no idea. Maybe Javi is just naturally like that with everyone, though I personally haven’t seen it, not like he is with you. And there’s also the chance he won’t accept it. Javi is really open minded and he has gay coaches and gay friends, but he’s always thought himself straight and might simply refuse to accept that he might not be. Some guys… do that.”

Yuzuru nodded, calmly accepting the possibilities Brian presented.

“Buy you think there is a chance.”

Brian took a deep breath.

“Yes, I think there is a chance.”

Yuzuru smiled a bit, just a little upward of his lips and for a moment Brian got a flashback of Yuzuru before taking the ice to stake his claim on whatever gold medal there was available.

“I think so, too.” the young man said, surprising Brian.

“Yes?”

Yuzu sighed.

“Summer show in Japan… I hear Javi and Miki break up, so… I think this is my chance. Well, even before that. From Helsinki, I think… is now or never. Javi might retire at the end of season and my chances might be gone. When hug Javi in Helsinki… I know never is not option. I have to try.”

Brian smiled. “That sounds like you.”

Yuzu smiled back. “During Summer show I try catch Javi’s attention. I try… I guess… seduce?” Yuzu said and blushed, laughing at himself.

“I did wonder a bit what had gotten into you with all that sexy acting.”

Yuzu chuckled some more. “Javi was… what did you say? Oblivious?”

“Yep. Perfect word.”

“Since he spend time with Miki, I think maybe they get back… was a bit confused. But Miki notice what I do and she encouraged.”

“She did?”

“Yes… don’t know why. She never say. But since she was Javi’s girlfriend for years, I think it must be good sign.”

“Makes sense. Maybe she knew something.”

“Yes… But then Javi go home...”

“And he got himself another girlfriend.”

“Yes… Can’t help it… I get mad.”

“Did you fight with him?”

“No. But decide to add quad lutz.” Yuzu said blushing.

Brian frowned. “I don’t follow...”

“I didn’t know if to add or not. I think of Brian advice and I think of Javi… I know Javi hate the others adding quad quad quad. I know he feel… bad about my add loop last year. And even more about me train lutz.”

“Ah, yes. He felt left behind as you went to play with the younger kids and their quads.”

“Yes, that. I wouldn’t leave lutz out just because Javi feel bad. But since mad at Javi, made decision easy.”

“Hurting him with quads for hurting you...”

“Yeah…”

Brian chuckled. “That’s so weird...”

“Yeah. But it go bad.”

“We both know you didn’t injure yourself because of the lutz. You injured yourself because you were jumping quads after a raging fever.”

“I know. That not what I mean.”

“Then?”

“Stop training together.”

“Ah...”

“Brian say it’s because it’s easier to focus, but I know real reason is Javi can’t focus around me and my quads.”

“That’s… a bit harsh.”

“Maybe. But Javi make his choice.”

“He couldn’t do lutz, not at his age.”

Yuzu rolled his eyes. “Javi is 26 not 50. And he can do loop. So you can’t know. He just don’t want to risk. And that’s ok. Is his choice and I respect. But he knows he take risks in other ways, so me doing more quads bothers him.”

Brian sighed. He knew Javi and Yuzu’s completely different philosophies at this point in their careers would rub each other the wrong way. That was actually part of why he’d separated them.

“Actually, this kind of thing is more why I separated you. He can’t understand your choices. And you can’t understand his. When frustration mounts, the chances you’d lash out at each other rise. And that would hurt both of you, a lot more than even if you finished last in the Olympics.”

Yuzuru looked surprised for a bit, then lowered his head, chastised.

“But… yes. Your decision to add lutz did play a part in that, as it’s part of the whole thing.” Brian conceded.

Yuzuru nodded. Then sighed.

“Now… I don’t know. Javi seem happy with new girlfriend and I don’t...” He trailed off.

“I know.”

“But I still feel I should tell… Maybe I will, after Olympics.”

“Why not before?”

Yuzu shook his head. “Javi is good guy. He’d worry and that would distract.”

“But like this you’re the one being distracted.”

“I’m used to it.”

“You are?”

Yuzuru nodded. Brian frowned.

“How long?”

“Hm?”

“How long have you had these feelings for Javi?”

“... long.”

“Yuzu...”

“I don’t know. I like Javi from first time I see him. I like Javi more from first time on podium together. But I only get to know Javi after move to Toronto, so…”

“When did you realize it was more than liking a friend?”

Yuzuru cocked his head.

“From beginning. I realize how strong when he start dating Miki.”

“Oh, Yuzu...”

Yuzuru shook his head and smiled.

“Is ok. Actually… I don’t even know what I do if Javi decide he feels same...”

“Eh?”

Yuzu shrugged.

“I never have girlfriend or boyfriend. I don’t really… know. Because of that, is not so hard.”

Brian nodded. “You don’t know what you’re missing out on.”

“Yes, that.”

Brian rubbed his temple a bit.

“Don’t worry, Brian. It’ll be ok.”

Brian laughed at that. 

“I’m supposed to be telling you that, not the other way around!”

Yuzuru shrugged and grinned cheekily.

“It feels good that someone knows, though.” The young champion conceded.

“Nobody else knows?”

Yuzuru shrugged.

“I think mother knows, but we never talk about it. I never tell anyone.”

“I see...”

“David knows, too, right?”

“David, Tracy… pretty much everyone at the club thinks… hopes you two will end up together at some point.”

Yuzuru chuckled. “I hope they right.”

“I hope so, too.”

“Guys, I thought you were setting the table!” Raj’s voice floated from the dining room, sounding quite a bit frustrated.

“Oops!” Brian said as he and Yuzuru laughed then rushed back to the dining room to finish setting the table.

Yumi looked at Yuzuru, a question in her eyes. He just smiled at her and she smiled back. 

That was enough.

~.~

Javi was in the middle of passing a bowl of dishes to his mother when the phone on the table next to him vibrated, making wine shiver in all the glasses.

“Javi, I told you not to leave your phone on the table!” Enriqueta scolded.

“Sorry, mom!” Javi said, then picked up the phone to check the e-mail.

“Javi!” his father added in his deep voice.

“Just a second!” Javi said. Then, knowing it would pacify his parents, he added: “It’s a mail from Yuzu.”

“Oh… how is he? Is he still in Toronto, or did he go home?” Enriqueta asked 

Javi shook his head. “He’s staying in Toronto until the Olympics.”

“Oh, poor thing...”

Javi nodded absently as he opened the pictures Yuzuru had attached without any comment. Then blinked. It was a fancy table set for a Christmas meal, for four.

Frowning slightly, he opened the next picture. The same table, now with numerous dishes on it, including a turkey in the middle, looking absolutely delicious. Javi was thankful he was already at the table, about to eat.

Then the phone vibrated in his hand again and he opened the new mail. This one had two lines of text and a picture.

“Merry Christmas!”

“Feliz navidad!”

And the picture had Yuzuru sitting cross legged on the ground, with a Santa hat, a Christmas tree behind him and Brian and Raj sitting on his right and left, both also wearing Santa hats and grinning. Yuzu was holding a small wrapped box that had a tag and Javi could read his name on it.

His eyes burned even as he grinned. 

“Javi?” his girlfriend asked at his right, noticing his teary eyes.

Javi shook his head, then lifted the phone to show it to his mother and sister.

“Seems Yuzu is celebrating Christmas with Brian and Raj.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As a heads up, this is all I have typed up at this point, but I know where things are going... generally ^_^; I hope to have more, soon!
> 
> PS: I really wish all I wrote above were true... especially Yuzu spending Christmas with Brian and Raj. In reality, I believe the chances of that are close to 0 ^_^;


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Javier can't sleep, so he e-mails anyway.

Javier was lying in bed, randomly checking instagram updates, not feeling sleepy, even though it was past 4am. Next to him, Marina was huffing softly, lost in who knows what dream world.

His mind was still stuck on Yuzuru spending Christmas with their coach and his partner. 

He hadn’t seen that coming...

Before he really thought it through, he sent Yuzuru another email.

“So, how does it feel to celebrate Christmas Canadian style?”

He was about to put his phone away and try to sleep, not expecting a reply any time soon, when it vibrated in his hand.

“It was fun! Brian and Raj are very good cooks! Mother got tipsy!”

Javier could almost hear Yuzuru giggle at the last.

“Haha. I’m glad to hear you both had fun! Oh, wait… if she got tipsy, how did you get home?”

“We didn’t. We spend night at Brian and Raj house. Mother in one guest bedroom and me in living room. I’m sleeping under Christmas tree!”

Javier let out a small chuckle, before remembering to be quiet.

“How is it?”

“Very nice. It’s all warm and red and gold… couch is very comfortable and blankets fluffy…”

Javier smiled as he imagined Yuzuru snuggled in fluffy blankets on Brian’s couch - which, extended, would fit at least five Yuzus - under the warm glow of a lit up Christmas Tree. It was a beautiful image.

“I almost wish I was there, too.”

“That would be fun. There’s much space on couch. It’d be like pajama party!”

“We should do that some day!”

“Yes!”

Javier’s heart skipped a beat at the enthusiastic reply. Yuzuru who never wanted to hang out… He wondered what changed.

“Javi…”

“Yes, Yuzu?”

“... will you be around next Christmas?”

Javier’s heart skipped another beat.

“Will you be around next Christmas?”

“... good point. Japan Nationals is Christmas…”

“Maybe I’ll come to Japan and see how you spend Christmas the Japanese way.”

“... I… would like that, but…”

“But?”

“Javi… Miki never tell you how Japanese spend Christmas? Or Christmas Eve?”

“Waiting for サンタクラウス?”

“... No.”

“Oh, come on, tell me!”

“No.”

“Yuzu!”

“Nope.”

“YUZU!!!”

“Shhh! You wake up girlfriend!”

Javier rolled his eyes.

“Fine. I ask Miki then!”

“Ask. Then see if you want come to Japan and spend Christmas Eve with me…”

Javier frowned a bit at the way Yuzuru put that. He made a mental note to ask Miki asap.

“Javi… I feel sleepy... Merry Christmas, Javi! See you when you get home…”

Javi smiled to himself as he imagined Yuzuru’s eyes falling shut.

“Merry Christmas, Yuzu. Sleep well!”

Putting the phone away and settling down to sleep, Javi tried to think of a way to tell his family and his girlfriend about the decision he’d made. It wasn’t a huge deal, but he knew they’d be disappointed. 

He’d made his decision before the exchange with Yuzu, but it had definitely chased away any lingering doubts. He’d spend the rest of his life with his family. Maybe also with Marina. But his time with his second family in Canada was possibly far more limited.

His time with Yuzuru...

And he wanted to make the best of it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> サンタクラウス=should actually be サンタクロース=Santa Claus
> 
> As for the Japanese Christmas (Eve) 'customs', you can either google or wait for the next chapter ;)


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Miki is being mean to me.”
> 
> “Miki? Your… ex-girlfriend Miki?”

He had just landed in Toronto, Marina an unexpected but welcome presence next to him, when his phone buzzed with an answer from Miki.

“Why do you wanna know?”

Javier barely resisted the urge to roll his eyes.

“I just do.”

“Your girlfriend is Spanish. You don’t need Japanese customs! Or are you cheating?”

“I am not cheating! Fine, Yuzu asked me if I knew and when I admitted I didn’t, he wouldn’t tell me.”

“Why would Yuzu ask you that?”

Damn noisy woman, she just had to know everything didn’t she?!

“Fine, if you really must know, Yuzu spent Christmas with Brian and Raj and we were talking about spending Christmas and he asked if I’d be there next Christmas, so I told him it didn’t matter, because he'd be in Japan for Nationals. But then I said maybe I’d go to Japan and spend it with him there.”

The answer took long to come.

And when it did it was a bunch of ROFL emoticons.

“What’s up?” Marina asked as he stared at the phone, by then waiting for their luggage.

“Miki is being mean to me.”

“Miki? Your… ex-girlfriend Miki?”

“Err… yes. I told you, we’re still on good terms. Actually, she and Yuzu both are being mean to me. Teasing me about Japanese customs I couldn’t possibly know about!”

“... I see…”

Before Javi could really take notice of her hesitation, he spotted their luggage, so he put his phone away and hurried to pick it up. 

As they sat in a cab on the way to Javi’s apartment, he took his phone back out and read the new email from Miki.

“Sorry to break it to you, lover boy, but if you do that, it will technically be cheating♡”

“Huh?”

“What did Yuzu say when you suggested that?”

“... he said he’d like that, but to ask you what it means first.” Javier replied, knowing it was better to give her what she wanted.

“He really said that?!”

“Yes, he did. Why?”

“... well… ok, then… but… are you sure you want to know?”

“Miki!”

“Just saying! But I guess Yuzu kind of opened up the pandora box already, so…”

“Oh my God, just tell me already!”

Javier half expected something stupid, with Yuzu and Miki just teasing the hell out of him. Like soba eating day or something.

“In Japan, Christmas Eve is a day spent with one’s lover. Couples buy cake and go on dates and spend the day together, being all lovey dovey.”

Javier blinked at his phone. And blinked again. And again.

Huh.

He hadn’t seen that coming.

“... Seriously?” he asked Miki.

“Seriously. Google it if you have doubts.”

“Why… would Yuzu say that, then?”

“Why don’t you ask him?”

Javier planned to. He had no idea how, but he sensed the answer to that question would become very, very important to him.

He was so caught up in his thoughts he didn’t notice Marina watching him sadly.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I feel really bad for Marina (I started using her name since Javi more or less introduced her by now), but it's a Yuzu/Javi story, so... (But she gets real life Javi, so she still wins lol Actually, I think it's adorable how into her Javi is. I genuinely hope they'll continue being happy together!)


	11. Chapter 11

Javier was at the rink bright and early the next day. Well, by his standards at least.

He rushed over, expecting to see Yuzu around. But there was no trace of him.

He shrugged it off, did his warm up and took the ice by 10:30am, surprising the entire coaching staff. His discipline had gotten much better, but he was still NOT a morning person.

He diligently did his work, then stroked around. And then some more. And some more…

Eventually, around 4pm, Tracy skated alongside him.

“What’s wrong, Javi?”

“Eh? Nothing’s wrong…”

“What are you still doing here, then?”

“Err… am I not allowed to…?”

“No, of course you are. It’s just not like you… Didn’t your girlfriend come with you? Shouldn’t you get back home to her?”

“I… yeah, you’re right…”

“Why did you stick around so late? Do you maybe… not want to go home?”

“What? No, no… I just… I was hoping to meet Yuzu…”

“Yuzu?”

“Yes, you know him. Medium height, skinny, carries around a Pooh and jumps triple axels out of nowhere.”

Tracy laughed.

“I meant why were you hoping to meet Yuzu.”

“... I just wanted to talk to him… It’s been a while, you know…”

“That’s true.” Tracy said, patting his arm.

“I thought he’d be back to a normal schedule by now…”

“Not yet… he does some stroking early in the morning, then he goes off for physiotherapy. Then in the afternoons he has off ice training. We’ll get him back on a normal schedule after New Year’s.”

“So, in a few days?”

“Yep.”

“But you said off ice in the afternoon…”

“Yes.”

“It’s afternoon…”

“Javi…”

“He does his off ice training here, right?”

“Yes. But I’m sorry, I can’t let you intrude.”

“Eh?”

“It’s more than just physical stuff. We’re also working a lot on the mental aspects. I need him fully focused on that when we’re doing it.”

“Oh…”

“He’s under so much pressure… it’s probably more important than physical training at this point.”

“Yeah, I understand. I’ll wait till New Year’s then. Is he coming to the party?”

“No, even just with club members, it’s a bit risky. Plus, his father and sister are arriving tomorrow.”

“Oh, they are?”

“Yes. They decided to spend New Year’s as a family, even if not in Japan.”

“That’s great!”

“Yep.”

“Ok… well, I guess I can talk to him next year, then.” Javi chuckled.

“That’s probably best! Now go home! Don’t keep your lady waiting even more!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> That Yuzu schedule is completely made up and not based on any kind of knowledge whatsoever. I really, really hope they included some mental training, though!
> 
> I also really, really wish Yuzu's family had spent New Year's together. We might never know, but it would be nice!
> 
> I also hope Javi - and Yuzu, actually - has gotten over his not a morning person issues, because they'll have to be morning people at the Olympics ^_^;
> 
> And there was a party at the TCC, but I think it was for Christmas and I have big doubts Yuzu attended. The New Year's one is made up ^_^;
> 
> PS: I'm not being mean on purpose, just trying to stay realistic ^_^


	12. Chapter 12

Upon returning home, he had found Marina rightfully upset. He’d had to do some groveling to get her forgiveness, then had spent the following days showering her with attention and affection.

Despite his Yuzu issues, he was grateful she’d flown to Toronto with him. Spent New Year’s with him.

They spent a few days like two little lovebirds, just the two of them, going out on sweet dates, then snuggling on the couch to watch holiday movies on TV.

It was great and Javi was reminded why he loved being in love. And Marina was lovely. She was pretty and sweet, but also lively and fun… they had a blast together!

He also felt like he could freely talk to her about anything. At some point, he found himself talking to her about Yuzu. About how cool and fun he was. How much they had enjoyed training together, how things had gotten tense between them with success. How they had recently reconnected, chatting through emails, his stupid promise and… and he stopped in time before he got to the Christmas suggestion for next year. He didn’t think his girlfriend would appreciate that much, even though he had yet to find out what exactly that was about. 

In fact she always seemed to get a little withdrawn when Yuzu came up.

It reminded Javi about Yuzu’s weird reactions to her and he started getting frustrated that two important people in his life apparently didn’t like each other.

Then it was Marina’s last day in Toronto and they decided to have dinner at the Cricket Club. Javi had left chatting with Yuzu until after she had gone back home, but he couldn’t resist the temptation of having a comfy dinner in the lounge area overlooking the rink.

Marina seemed relaxed at first - not surprising, there were mostly adult skaters on the ice - but when she tensed right before dessert, Javi knew she’d seen Yuzu.

He resisted the urge to turn and look - and was shocked by how strong that urge was! - and instead reached out and grabbed her hand bringing it to his lips for a soft kiss on the back of it, which made her blush.

They were distracted by a sound on the rink and they both turned to see Yuzu sprawled on the ice, face down.

Javier’s heart stopped and he stood up in horror, dropping Marina’s hand, forgetting she was there altogether as he feared the worst. He was about to run off to check on his teammate, when Brian glided into view and Yuzuru raised his head with a sheepish smile. Then picked himself up, keeping his head down as Brian scolded him.

Breathing a sigh of relief, Javier knocked on the glass, drawing the attention of the two. Brian waved in surprise, smiling. Yuzuru didn’t smile and didn’t look surprised. Javier mouthed an “Ok?” at them and they both nodded and gave him ok signs.

Finally able to breathe again normally, he sat back down. He turned an embarrassed smile towards Marina, an apology on his lips.

She was looking away, at the rink, watching Yuzu but apparently lost in thought.

“Marina?”

“Javi… I’m going to join your family in Moscow to cheer you on.”

Javi grinned. “Thank you! It will mean so much!”

She smiled a bit as she turned back to him, but it was a sad smile.

“I will do it as your friend. You’re a great guy and I think you’ll make an awesome friend.”

“... what?”

She sighed and looked at the rink again.

“I am not your first priority. And I don’t mean skating. I mean people wise, there are people in your life more important to you than me. And that’s perfectly ok. But it’s not what I want in a relationship.”

“... You’re breaking up with me…”

“Javi, look. You’re a great guy, a great boyfriend, a wonderful lover. You also manage to both have a successful career and maintain a healthy relationship. You did not make any mistakes. Your only fault is that you do not know your own heart very well.”

“What…? I have no idea what you’re talking about!”

“Maybe I’m wrong, but I have this strong feeling that you’re in love with someone else…”

“Is this about Miki? I told you…”

“It’s not about Miki.” Marina interrupted.

“Then what? Who?”

Marina pursed her lips and turned to the ice again. Without realizing it, Javi turned as well, briefly distracted by Yuzuru’s beautiful glide on the ice.

“Him.”

Snapped from his admiration, Javi turned to her.

“Huh?”

“Yuzuru.”

Javi frowned, not following.

“What about him?

Marina sighed.

“You talk about him all the time. You think about him all the time. You look at him all the time. When you do, there’s a look on your face that you don’t get about anyone else. Not even me. Maybe you don’t love, love him. But you’re definitely stuck on him.”

“Marina… he’s my friend! We’re not…”

“Oh, I know. But are you sure that’s all you want to be?”

“What?”

“That look you get when you think or talk about him… he looks at you the same way. I’ve thought about it a lot… we've only been together a few months. A few great months. But it’s too soon for it to be really, really love between us. And I like you a lot Javi. So I want you to be happy. And I really think that in order for that to happen, you should talk to him.”

Javier sighed and buried his hands in his hair. 

“I feel really… put off right now…” he said eventually.

“Put off?”

“It just annoys me when people presume to know how I feel better than I do.”

Marina shook her head. “I think it happens often that we feel things we don’t realize until someone points it out. However, I’m not saying I’m sure you’re in love with him. I’m saying I feel you have stronger feelings for him than for me and if I continued this relationship feeling like this, it would only make me - and by association, you as well - miserable.”

Javi raised his eyes and stared at her.

“I’m sorry I made you feel like that.”

“Javi, I told you. You didn’t do anything wrong. You are pretty much the perfect boyfriend and lover. But you can’t help how you feel anymore than I can.”

Javi shook his head and looked down again.

Marina leaned closer and lowered her voice.

“Tell me, Javi. If Yuzuru walked up to you right now and said he loved you, what would you do?”

Javi’s head snapped up and he stared at Marina, eyes wide and heart pounding.

She smiled slowly, then started laughing a bit.

“Oh, boy, you’re so obvious!”

Javi cringed.

“I don’t… That’ll never happen!”

“Really? Tell him you’re single again and see what happens.”

“I don’t want to be single again!”

“Javi, I like you a lot, but I’m not going to stay with you just because you love being in love and in a relationship. Plus, I do think you might not be single for long.”

“I don’t…”

“Oh, damn it, Javi! He fell because he saw you reach out to me. Everytime he sees us touch, his face shuts down. And with someone as expressive as him, it’s striking. He hates to see you with me. Any idea why that might be?”

Javi frowned. He’d concluded that, too, but hadn’t seriously considered why. 

“Also, you’ve been hiding something from me. That whole Yuzu and Miki are being mean to you thing. You started telling me at one point, then thought better of it and lied about the rest.”

“I…” Javi started then sighed. “Well, i guess I might as well tell you…”

“Please.”

“I told you that when Yuzu spent Christmas at Brian and Raj’s, he said they wished I was with them. Then he asked if I’d be there next Christmas.”

“Worried about your retiring.”

“Yes. So I asked if he’d be there next Christmas. Because Japanese Nationals are around then. After he deflated, I felt bad though and said maybe I’d go to Japan and spend Christmas the Japanese way. He said he’d love that, but asked if I was aware of the implications. I wasn’t, so I asked Miki.”

“And?”

“And… it turns out Christmas Eve in Japan is like a second Valentine’s Day. A day for lovers.”

Marina chuckled.

“And he said he’d love to spent that with you?”

“I… don’t remember the exact words he used.” He ignored the fact that he could just check. He was a bit afraid of what he might find out.

“But that’s how you interpreted it.”

“Yes.”

“And what do you think he meant by that?”

“I don’t know. I don’t want to assume, so I refuse to think about it. I was going to ask him, but today is the first time I’ve seen him in weeks. And I don’t want to talk about this over emails.”

“Makes sense. Talk to him. And if it has the desired result, I want a thank you gift in the Summer!”

“A thank you gift?”

“Yep. I want you to bring him to Madrid and ravish him thoroughly in my room, so I can watch!” Marina grinned.

“Ha???”

The grin turned to full on laughter at Javi’s shocked expression.

“What? You two are really hot together!”

Javi spluttered, blushing. How had they gone from talking about he and Yuzu possibly having romantic feelings for each other to he and Yuzu having passionate sex in front of his ex-girlfriend?!

“Hey guys!”

They both startled as Brian approached, Yuzu trailing behind.

Javi blushed harder and his heart skipped a beat.

“Sorry to interrupt, but I remembered Marina is going home tomorrow and wanted to say have a safe trip!” Brian smiled and gave her a hug as she stood up.

“Thank you, Brian! I’ll see you in Moscow!”

“Oh, you’re coming to Moscow?”

“Of course! I’m coming with Javi’s family to support him!”

“That is great!” Brian said, then stepped back, making room for Yuzu.

“Is nice see you again.” He said shyly and gave her an awkward hug. Marina couldn’t help herself and wrapped her arms tightly around him.

“Please be good to Javi!” she whispered in his ear. He stiffened and frowned as he drew away, but she just smiled at him.

“Ok, well we’ll leave you two lovebirds alone, then. Have a safe flight and see you in Moscow!” Brian smiled again, a hand on Yuzu’s back as he turned them away.

Swallowing hard, Javi stood up and turned after them.

“Yuzu!”

Yuzuru stopped and turned to face him. He looked as nervous as Javi felt and that was pretty strange. Why was HE nervous?

“I want to talk to you.”

Yuzu opened his mouth. Closed it. Then opened it again.

“Mother is waiting now…”

Javi flushed. Of course.

“Oh, it doesn’t have to be now. Just… you know… soon…”

Yuzu nodded.

“Ok. Bye now.” he said bowing his head to both of them.

Javier let himself fall back on his seat, all the tension flowing out of him and leaving him limp.

He was distracted by chuckles from.across the table.

Marina was trying to contain her amusement by innocently eating his parfait - when had the dessert arrived?! - but failing miserably.

“Oh, shut up!” Javi groaned rubbing his face as she started outright laughing at him.

“You two are so awkward it’s adorable!” she said and Javi just groaned, digging into his tiramisu.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Marina's personality is completely made up, as I know nothing about her. But I wanted her to be cool and strong.
> 
> No idea if it's possible to have dinner in that area of TCC lol. It just fit my purpose. Also no idea if Yuzu's hiding from the world includes Javi, but it kind of makes sense if it does.
> 
> Two chapters left. One written, one not. And maybe, if inspiration strikes, a post-Olympics epilogue to be written post-Olympics. (Wow, I'm actually close to finishing a series! O.O lol)


	13. Chapter 13

Sitting on the plane on his way back from Moscow, his 6th European Championship gold medal safely tucked in his carry-on, Javier knew he was running out of time.

Of course, his “soon” talk to Yuzu never happened.

He started suspecting the young man was avoiding him and he could not for the life of him figure out why.

Maybe he was embarrassed by the spending Christmas together thing. But he could always claim it had been just to tease Javi…

Either way, the Olympics were just around the corner and neither of them could afford the distractions anymore. Javi firmly believed that coming clean and speaking openly was the only way they could both put this out of mind and focus on the Olympics.

“It’s amazing, you’ve really gotten into the habit of thinking a lot!” Brian said from next to him, despite seeming to be asleep.

Javier rolled his eyes.

“First you complain I don’t think, now you complain I think too much! There’s just no pleasing you!”

Brian chuckled and removed his eye mask, turning to Javier.

“What did you promise Yuzu this time?”

Javi smiled.

“I told him I’d spend Christmas with him in Japan next year.”

“Ha??”

Chuckling at his coach’s reaction, Javi nodded.

“Yep. It’s pretty much settled.”

“Javi. Seriously.You did not promise him that.”

Brian’s suddenly serious tone surprised Javi. He frowned.

“We were kind of joking about it. I suggested it, as a sort of joke. He agreed as a sort of joke. Then I found out Christmas is spent with one’s lover in Japan.”

Brian’s sharp intake of breath made Javi raise an eyebrow.

“Know anything about why he might have gone along with it?” he pressed.

“He probably knew you didn’t know.” Brian said quickly, though he was frowning.

“True. But he pushed me to find out.”

Brian frowned harder.

Javier sighed.

“Brian, you know, it really sucks to be the only one who doesn’t know something.”

“I don’t know what you mean…”

“Miki had the same reaction. Like she knew why Yuzu did it, but was very surprised that he did do it.”

Brian sighed.

“You need to talk to him.”

“I plan to. The thing is I’ve been planning to for a while, but he’s nowhere to be found.”

“Ah, yes…”

“What’s that about?”

Brian shrugged.

“He’s both the favorite and the big unknown. He wants to remain unknown as long as possible.”

“Even from me.”

“Even from you. He sees you as a rival now, not a teammate.”

“Then maybe I shouldn’t talk to him until after…”

Brian sighed.

“No, you should. I think you will both grow stronger after that.”

“Yeah?”

“Yes, Javi. It won’t be easy, but… trust me. It’ll be good.”

Javi nodded.

“Ok.”

“Yuzu will be done tomorrow at 10am. Be at the club then and go to the lockers through the back entrance.”

“... Are you serious?”

“Yes. I’ll help you, but I will not break his confidence. He doesn’t want anyone seeing him skate.”

Javi sighed.

“Ok. I’ll be there.”

“Good. I’ll email everyone else to tell them practices start at 11:30. You’ll have the locker room to yourselves until then. I expect everything solved and your minds clear and focused when you come out.”

“I hope for that same thing.”


	14. Chapter 14

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Grand Finale!

At precisely 10:02 AM, the door to the locker room opened and Yuzuru walked in, rubbing a towel over his face.

Javi jumped up, knocking over his backpack and startling his teammate, who clearly hadn’t expected anyone to be in there.

“Ja-Javi?!”

“Hey Yuzu! Long time no see!”

“Yeah… Hi! Uhm… why are you here? When get back from Moscow?”

“Yesterday. And I came to see you.”

Yuzuru blushed and gaped.

“Ha?”

Javi had to chuckle.

“Actually, I have some things for you.”

“Things? For me?”

“Yep. Lots of people asked me to say Hi.”

“Oh…”

Javi picked up his backpack, unzipped it and started digging in.

First, he pulled out a little black gift bag, with a sparkly golden Y hand drawn on it.

“This is from Evgenia. Belated birthday gift.”

“Eh?? She didn’t have to…”

“Apparently she got it for you and planned to give it to you at the Final, but since neither of you made it there…”

As Yuzu pulled out a cute Pooh keychain out of the bag, Javi smiled and started digging again.

Yuzuru’s eyes widened even more at the sparkly red and gold envelope that came next - or maybe at the fruity perfume that wafted from it.

“This is actually from your unofficial fanclub among the Russian girls… Knowing JSF usually go through your mail to make sure it’s safe, I took the liberty to do the same with this… If you ever feel low on self-esteem, read this. It’ll pump up your ego like few other things ever could!”

Yuzuru blushed again, staring at the envelope, but weary about opening it.

Javi continued his digging.

“This… is from Ondrej.” Javi said pulling out another envelope, this one plain white.

Yuzu took it, wide eyed again, and pulled out a card with a cute cartoon bear with big teary eyes saying “We missed you!”.

“This is from Stephane and Deniss.” Javi handed Yuzu a small gift bag.

Yuzu took out a soft cashmere muffler in Seimei colors and a small, handwritten note saying “We’ll see you in Pyeonchang! Dress warmly!”

“This,” Javi said, pulling a bigger gift bag out, “is from Plushy. BUT. He said you can’t open it until after the FS in Pyeongchang.”

“Eh?”

“He says it’s a lucky charm, but you must respect this rule.”

Yuzuru frowned but nodded.

Lastly, Javier stood and faced Yuzu, hands behind his back.

“The last envelope I was actually given in France, with a “just in case” and instructions to destroy it if you went to Nationals.”

“Eh?”

“It’s from Shoma.” Javi said, handing the envelope to an even wider eyed Yuzu.

The note was quite brief. Just telling Yuzu to take it easy and focus on defending his title and not to worry about the team event. Unless, of course, he wanted the practice, in which case, it was all his. Shoma saying he would do his best, even while cheering for Yuzu to win. Lastly, hoping they can both have performances they can be proud of and Shoma also hoping Yuzu, as his sempai, would be proud of him at the end of the Olympics. All things Shoma probably couldn’t say in person or through the federation.

Yuzuru actually blinked away tears at that.

“And lastly, one more thing for you. From me.”

Javi said and held out a black, flat box.

Yuzuru recognized it right away as a medal case and took it, frowning.

He opened it and his mouth fell open as well.

Javier reached over and grabbed the makeshift medal and ribbon he’d put together using the gold streamers from the Europeans gala, and carefully placed it around Yuzuru’s neck.

“For the champion of my heart - and so many other hearts. Thank you for being an amazing companion, a supportive teammate, an inspiring rival and an unparalleled role model for all of us.”

Javi felt his own eyes sting at the sight of tears running down Yuzuru’s face at his words.

The next thing he knew, Yuzuru’s arms were wrapped tightly around his neck and his younger teammate was sobbing against his shoulders.

“Oh, I didn’t mean to make you cry…” Javi whispered even as he held Yuzu tightly.

Yuzu shook his head.

“I need cry…” he managed to whisper after a while.

“Then cry for as long as you need to. I’m here for you.”

Yuzu shook his head again, his soft hair tickling the side of Javi’s face.

“Will Javi now not let go for a week?” Yuzu whispered after a few more minutes, in between sniffles.

“Yuzu…”

“Just… just kidding…” Yuzu said and started squirming. Javi put a hand on the back of Yuzu’s neck and tightened his other arm around his waist.

“Yuzu… I won’t **_ever_ ** let you go if you don’t want me to!”

Yuzu pulled back then and his wide, red eyes, with still wet lashes stared straight into Javi’s.

And suddenly, Javi realised it was easy. They didn’t need to find any words between them. Their ability to communicate had always been beyond words. He just let himself feel everything he felt, not hiding anything and letting it reflect in his eyes.

Yuzuru’s eyes widened even more and Javi knew he’d made himself understood.

Swallowing hard, Yuzuru whispered: “Promise?”

Grinning, cupping Yuzuru’s face and running his thumb over a still tear streaked cheek, Javi nodded.

“Promise.”

He was momentarily startled when Yuzuru pounced on him.

Soft lips landed on his and strong arms almost choked him in their enthusiasm, but he just laughed in the kiss and held his teammate, rival and apparently now boyfriend tighter.

After a few moments of such passionate yet innocent kisses that Javi felt a bit like weeping, Yuzu pulled back with a frown.

“Wait! What about girlfriend?”

“Marina and I broke up that evening at TCC. She had actually dumped be right before you and Brian came over.”

“Oh… I’m sorry…”

“Well… I am a bit for her, but not really. If not for that, I wouldn’t have this.”

Yuzuru blushed and looked down to where his hands were playing with the collar of Javi’s shirt.

“Why she dump you?”

Javi reached over and forced Yuzu to look at him.

“Because she believed I was in love with you. And that quite possibly you were with me, too.”

Yuzu’s eyes widened a bit again, then he groaned and hid his face against Javi’s neck.

“What’s wrong?” Javi asked, rubbing Yuzu’s back a bit.

“I always think I hide well, but people keep noticing!”

“Brian and Miki knew right?”

“Yes. I tell Brian a few months ago. Miki somehow realize in Summer.”

“Summer?”

“Yes… when I try to… seduce Javi at ice show.”

“Se-seduce me?!”

“Shut up! So embarrassing Javi never notice!”

“I… wait. All that sexy stuff was for ME?!”

Yuzuru pouted.

“Yes.”

“Wow… I… wow… ah, shit… Yuzu, i’m sorry! I noticed… of course I did, but… it never crossed my mind it was about me…”

Yuzuru shrugged.

“Yuzu… for how long… have you felt like this?” Javi asked, frowning. He hoped Yuzu would never ask him that, because he had no idea what to answer, but he had the feeling Yuzu did have an answer.

“Always… well, not realize until… Miki? I think. But always feel this.”

“Oh, Yuzu… why didn’t you ever say anything?”

“Why say? I was happy with what I had. Friends enough. I don’t know lover stuff anyway.”

“Oh…”

“But change after Worlds.”

“How... how so??”

“When I hug Javi after Worlds I realize I want Javi. In many ways. And since I hear Javi and Miki broke up, I try to… yeah. And fail…”

“I’m sorry…”

“Then Javi get new girlfriend and happy, so…” Another shrug.

Javi hugged him again.

“I’m so sorry!”

Yuzu shook his head.

“Don’t say sorry. If Javi happy, I’m happy.”

“I’m sorry I didn’t realize my own feelings… even Miki was jealous of you at times. Even Cortney was! I should have… gotten the hint!”

“That far?”

Javi shrugged.

“I honestly don’t know. You’ve always been precious to me. I have no idea when that became more. I was only made aware of it recently and haven’t had much time for soul searching.”

Yuzuru nodded. Then seriously - nervously - looked into Javi’s eyes.

“And now?”

“Now… I’m pretty sure I love you. It’s actually a feeling very different from any other I’ve called love before. More delicate, more precious… more intimate, in a way. Maybe because we’re also teammates, companions. We have that bond as well. All I know for sure is that I was terrified you would reject me and the thought of losing you forever made me feel like dying.”

Yuzu smiled brightly.

“Right… my dying is really funny!” Javi mock pouted and got a not very mock punch in the arm for it.

“I love Javi.”

Javi grinned and immediately leaned forward to bring their mouths together again into another series of kisses. This time with tongue, which Yuzu seemed a bit surprised by, before getting enthusiastic. Making Javi wonder just how little Yuzu really knew about lovers stuff. But determined to teach him and, knowing Yuzu, he was pretty sure he’d be a fast learner.

~.~

When the door to the locker room flew open, Javi knew for sure it was not 11:30 AM. He’d set an alarm on his phone for 11:25 AM precisely to avoid anyone interrupting his conversation with Yuzu. (Even if he hadn’t anticipated this kind of ‘conversation’.)

That was why the violent opening of the door startled him so much, he instinctively stood up. Yuzu, who had been kneeling on the bench, straddling his lap hit the floor with a shocked yelp.

In the open door stood a blond kid who was simply staring at them expressionless. They simply stared back for a few moments as if someone somewhere had hit a pause button.

Then, Stephen took a couple of steps back and closed the door without a word, leaving them alone again.

Javi turned to Yuzu - who looked vaguely murderous beyond his flushed cheeks - and was about to offer his hand to pull him up, when they heard Stephen shouting loudly enough they probably heard him all the way to Japan and Spain.

“Coach, Javi and Yuzu are making out in the locker room!”

The End

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope everyone liked this... I guess the ending might seem a bit abrupt, but I thought it nice to end on a funny note lol
> 
> I doubt the gifts thing would happen in real life, but seeing Ondrej so bubbly at Euro gala, and remembering Yuzu and his Russian fangirls and the golden streams, and Stephane always nice to Yuzu and Deniss as well... plus Plushy... I had this idea and then it seemed like a great opening for Javi's own sort of confession. But also, Yuzu is loved by so many people, most of them fans, but I think many of his peers love him - or at least like him a lot - too, so I really wanted to include that, especially now when Yuzu has been absent for so long. (The muffler idea was because I have this image of Stephane always wearing scarves lol And I know what the Plushy gift is, but I won't say anything until the Epilogue. Whenever that will come :P)
> 
> Also, Stephen makes a brief appearance. For some reason, because I don't know anything at all about him, I like to give Stephen the annoying, overachieving younger brother aka ultimate brat role lol. So that's kind of what he's doing now, too. lol
> 
> Anyway, I hope you enjoyed it. My first, properly finished Yuzu/Javi fic. I'm quite satisfied with it lol


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